Two or three weeks ago I found out that I was pregnant. We have been trying since November so I was really excited!... And a little nervous. I was having some issues that made me even more nervous and after having my blood drawn I was told my HcG was looking good and what I was going through is completely normal. Well, my "issue" got worse and so I called the doctor again and had a blood test again (boo). My numbers had more than tripled so everything looked good, but that just didn't make sense. I was for sure she was going to tell me they went down and that I had miscarried. What a pleasant surprise, right? What a roller coaster. Well because my issue was still getting worse, she had me go to the hospital where I had an ultrasound and a trans-vaginal ultrasound (sounds fun, eh). Well to my surprise she found our little baby and we were able to see the little heart beat! I almost started crying, I could not believe it :). I was so stoked all morning, she even printed out a picture for me.
Anyway so I went to work that afternoon, and a few hours later I started getting kinda crampy. I thought it might be from the trans-vaginal ultrasound (which was quite uncomfortable). But as the afternoon went on the cramping came more often and got more intense. Luckily I got home just in the knick of time. Ben found me in the bathroom and as soon as I saw him I just started crying. I didn't think it would be so hard! Until that morning I had thought I already lost it. I think it was hard to see the heartbeat and then loose it the very same day.
It was a rough night. I sat in our apartment crying thanks to those wonderful cramps (screw natural labor, those chicks are crazy). My wonderful husband was so good to check on me while managing Aud and Joe's kids, who we have for the weekend while they are out of town. I feel a lot better today and I am doing my best to look at this from a positive angle. I dont know the church's standpoint on the issue or if they have one, but my dad said something to me that made me feel TONS better. He said that even though that baby didn't make it to see the world, it would still be mine in the eternities. I think I believe that even if it isn't true, it gives me hope and makes me feel so much better. I've also learned to trust in my Heavenly Father. I know that I had that trial for a reason and I don't think I know exactly why yet, but I trust that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me and that He loves me and we are better for going through this. I hope I can learn the lesson before we have to go through it again... but I am also grateful for the opportunity it gave Ben and I to grow closer together. We have always had a wonderful close relationship, but I feel we are going through things lately that are taking us to new levels and I look forward to many more trials and blessing with him.
I have to go in on Monday for ANOTHER BLOOD TEST! to check my HcG to make sure it is going down, and to check my blood type which depending on the result I may also need a RhoGAM shot. I found out after the results of my second blood test that my Progesterone was low. So now I have to go in for more BLOOD TESTS (I hate them) when I am not pregnant so they can see if that was the problem, and possibly get me on something for the next time. Glad we figured that out now though so if that is the case we can prevent it for next time. I'm so looking forward to becoming a mom... someday. We will keep our chin up and be even more grateful when the day comes that we are blessed to be parents.
I have to go in on Monday for ANOTHER BLOOD TEST! to check my HcG to make sure it is going down, and to check my blood type which depending on the result I may also need a RhoGAM shot. I found out after the results of my second blood test that my Progesterone was low. So now I have to go in for more BLOOD TESTS (I hate them) when I am not pregnant so they can see if that was the problem, and possibly get me on something for the next time. Glad we figured that out now though so if that is the case we can prevent it for next time. I'm so looking forward to becoming a mom... someday. We will keep our chin up and be even more grateful when the day comes that we are blessed to be parents.
